In class 3 we have been reading about the adventures of Libby, the first woman to win the Iditarod Sled Dog Race, and her family of husky dogs living in the Arctic. This has inspired us to write our own adventure stories set in one the world’s most extreme environments. We’d love to hear what you think of them.
Brownie’s Adventure.
“Three, two,one!” shouted the starter and we were off. Racing as fastest we could. The wind was howling. The dogs pulled hard and ran in case they didn’t have enough energy to get through the dangerous race.
My name is Brownie, I am soft, I have brown fur and blue eyes. I am fluffy with brown and white fur which keeps me nice and warm. I like helping the other huskies. The captain of our team was Libby. The first day of our race went well, but we needed a sleep.
The next day I came out of the cabin and got on the sleigh and I was off. Suddenly, the ice cracked and we nearly fell in the freezing iced water and nearly froze and died. Unfortunately one of my team mates did die and that left 14 of us to get through the dangerous mission.
There was a long way to go before we got to the finish line. So they travelled for many days and they finally got to the finish line. Libby got off the sled and led us to some food. Her mum came to watch her finish and when she saw her come first she was crying with joy.
All of the Huskies and me went back home with Libby. We lived with her happily for the rest of our lives in the ice city.
Well done Billy. You have used lots of adjectives and I really like your expression ‘she was crying with joy’. 2TP. Next time try to use a different connective to ‘and’.
THE RACE OF A LIFE TIME
“Three two one!” The starter shouted, we were of running like the wind. We were in the ferocious
Arctic Mike said “it was as cold as can be”. I had 15 dogs on the team…
The wind blew the snow around like a tornado. Then we lost track. I shouted for anyone, however no one replied. All we had now was hope. Then we lost track.
So as the sun fell the temperature fell too. It became even colder than I had ever known it. Then I saw something amazing the Northern Lights and that is what guided me back on track. I was in the Iditarod now.
There was 15 dogs on the team there leader was called Mike. The dogs were called Dugan, sox, Timmy, jack, silly, rocky, Jenson, Misty, Healy, Super, Mini, Molly, Milly, Silly and Giggles .
It was terrifying but the hazardous weather would not stop me now! The snow hovered above the ground. My eyes were red raw. I could not see the trail. It was truly difficult. “Can I make it” I said. Maybe or maybe not I did not know whether to stop or carry on?
I decided to carry on. We went the wrong way. There was thorns ahead I shouted “HALT” but Mini went one step to far, she broke loose of her chain. I looked down only to see Mini with a thorn in her paw. We had to leave Mini behind at the checkpoint. We only had 14 dogs now.
I couldn’t believe my eyes I was at the third to last checkpoint. I was overwhelmed. Not even a tornado could stop us now! We drove furiously we were on a roll.
At last we had achieved our dreams to win the Iditarod race. There were three award ceremonies one in Vegas and 2 in Mexico. Then when the day was done and the sun went down the moonlight was shining through. We headed back to Nome. The next morning I heard banging on the door…
I saw a herd of news reporters! I said “WOW” to myself. I was interviewed all morning. It was great fun. Who knows what race I will run next …
Well done Michael, a lovely story. You have used some fantastic descriptive language. 2TP. Try to use more varied openers for your sentences. Your next step is to think about how you can include more adverbs.
Alaska race
“Three two one!” The starter shouted and we were off, running like the wind. This was the race of Alaska. When we did the race it was in Alaska.
It happened on Tuesday the 1st of March 1777 it was an amazing race. I was the leader of a team of huskies.
The huskies did the race because they were tempted by the challenge. It was a 4000 mile journey. There were 10 dogs they were Socks, Binga, Brownie,Kevin,Emily, Leo, Elliot, Alex, max and Sam As they raced it got colder and colder. My name is Dugan and I am 18 years old and the 2nd oldest. What would this race hold for me?
I was terrified at about what was coming up. What was we going to face? Who would know what was coming up? There was something ahead. There were mountains that stood still in the breeze.
The mountains were extremely steep, there was deep snow. The cold weather made my paws freeze.
The snow suddenly got deeper and deeper. It got harder for us to come across the snow. Then I saw something in the distance. “Who would have know what it was.” It was a tornado! We had to stop at a checkpoint. It was coming closer and closer. The huskies had to crawl steady. The snow was tilting slowly. It was coming straight for us.
We were rescued from the deep deep snow. A brave man walked and helped us out he was a hero. The hero started hoping silently.” There was a huskies running like the wind. There was a huskies were in the middle of nome. We didn’t know who the huskies belonged to. The tornado came from the distance.
“Here comes the final straight.” It was amazing! We finished the race first. It was the best time of my life. My mum and dad came to a ceremony and we got a trophy. We were in front of the crowd.
We threw the trophy in the air, it was incredible. It was like we bolted through the course. We were as happy as can be. Clouds filled the sky with darkness. On the podium we were first. The dogs are in bed after there busy race
Well done Kyle 2tp . You have included lots of adjectives in your story and you explain who everybody is. Remember ‘we were’ not ‘we was’. Next steps add more similes and metaphors to your writing.
The wild run
“Three, two, one!” The starter shouted and we were off, running like the wind! “Hi. Let me introduce myself. I’m Dugan and these are my friends. You see that girl were pulling? That’s my owner Liz.”
Me, Liz and my friends are taking part in a 1,000 mile race held in Alaska. It was April 26th 2002 at 6:23am. That’s very early for a race don’t you think. We had already ran 1 mile we still had 999 miles more heading our way. Who knew what danger was in store for us.
I am a fluffy grey and white husky. I live in the freezing cold Alaskan village of nome. My owner Liz is a by competitive girl. She has dark brown hair and bright blue eyes.
Racing through -60oc was a huge challenge. I was curious of what trials I would come face to face with along the way. I kept my nose to the ground for a little while and listened out for instructions or danger. Soon we arrived at a cabin.
I had to stop in the cabin because of how cold it was. In the morning, we went once again but had no clue if we would be safe or not. I sa another checkpoint ahead. All of a sudden, it came for us…
There was a storm after us. I was terrified. Luckily we were very close to another cabin. We went inside as soon as possible. As we walked inside, we started to warm up a little. We were cold and very tired after racing through that storm.
As we walked in, Brownie started to growl loudly at some other mushers. Another mushers dog came up to Sox and started attacking him! The dog broke Sox’s leg! As we set off, we had to leave Sox behind.
The storm began to calm down a little bit. I was colder than I had ever been before. Now it was -73oc! I put my nose to the ground and then realised there were no trails from other mushers in the ground.
We were either going off track or in the lead! I couldn’t believe my eyes. It wasn’t that we were off track. I was right. We were first!
I could see the finish line ahead of me. As we crossed the line, the crowd went wild. Liz got interviewed the second we crossed the line.
There was a huge award ceremony in our honour. Liz was the first woman to ever win the Iditarod 1000 mile race. I was so glad.
Well done Kasey 2TP. A great opener and lots of metaphor. Remember to include adjectives to help describe your characters and surroundings.
Arctic Race
“Three, two, one!”the starter shouted and we were off running like the wind! What would we see?When would we get there? Well, I was still having fun. Where will we go though? Why was I racing in this race? Who was I racing? My name is Libby and I am a sled musher.
I was dashing through the snow. But have the nerve if something went wrong? I couldn’t see any danger in front, though so I didn’t have to worry yet. Then I thought again bad weather would come? Or maybe some ice cracking would stop me and I can’t get across.
I was racing through the snow with my dog’s. When I was racing, a crack in the ice appeared. I didn’t know what to do
A few minutes later it got colder and colder and I got exhausted. I carried on until I got to the next checkpoint so I could have a sleep. Then the next morning I went on. Then I saw a crack in the ice. Just in time, I stopped the husky’s. What could I do?
How could I get across? I was stuck on one side of the crack. I thought it was a dream, but, it wasn’t. It was terrible. What if one of the team’s find another way to get across!
Then I had an idea! I said to the dog’s”right!”and they obeyed me. They kept going right until, finally they saw the other side of the crack. We went over quickly. Then I looked at the snow and I couldn’t see any print’s. We were in 1st place so far! I felt really happy.
When we reached the other side of the crack, out of nowhere, a team whizzed past us! We had to keep going. Then, a while later we caught up with the other team. But, it was a while till a moose blocked our path! Then I saw something suspicious. Another path covered in snow, just clear enough to see was next to the moose. We went through it as fast as we could. Then, before we knew it, we won! I was really happy. It was a miracle. I wonder were we will end up next…
Well done Nathan. 2TP You have certainly introduced lots of drama. Try to use better openers than ‘then’, such as ‘After a while…’, ‘Later that day…’
RUNNING STORM
“Three,two,one!”the starter shouted and we were of, running like the wind! With my small little legs in the bone-chilling wether. I felt different it was like something had Chang in my life. Me and the other dogs were all different like Axel and Sister has feisty Attitude however Axle is a loving dog.
Today I remembered when I moved from Wales at the age of 15. I thought of having a life retrain with dogs. Suddenly I remembered how all the dogs grown up and became strong and healthy . I am the lifetime leader of the pack.
My owner is Megan she is the musher to all of the dogs. I met them in Alaska and won my first race with them. It is hard working to work with us because they will never give up in a race with you. I am the leader of then slowly after that is Axle and Sister then Binge ,Brownie then Socks.
My feet felt like they were stuck on the board, I clutched my paws to the snow me and the dogs led the way. I was cold. I was tired. My body was about to shut down. It was a 1000ml race,we were at 400mile by the morning . I was doing the Iditarod trale race the ever sled dog race.
I was terrified my nose was twitching in the freezing cold wind. Megan was the leader of our lager pack. We followed her instruction which were dead straight . Suddenly I felt tired my legs were about to drop of.
I could see the forest unfolding like no ones business. I could see the snow coving the land. With thick ice I finally reached the deep, dark, dull and dim forest. All I could here was foxes squinting and owls hooting. It was looking very scary with the trees waving wildly in the strong wind casting a shadows.
Finally I was in the warm wood cabin with me and the other dogs. Megan was putting her hands other the warm burning fire. Whilst Megan went to bed someone was snoring in a different bed. It crept me a wake so I barked as loud as I possible could bark it made him go quiet.
The next morning we stepped out of the cabin and saw ice as sharp as a knife.
“ON NO, STOP” Megan shouted as loud as her voice could possible go to all of with the daring razor shape cracked ice, that could slice our feet at any moment now. So we jumped as high we could possibly move with our small,little legs,whilst the snow was floating and the Ice falling.
We ran as quick as lightning into the safety of the warm and cozy cabin but sadly Binga did not move that quickly then they were surrendered by ruby red blood oozing out of the sad and week Binga.
The wind was blowing his face as hopeless as can be, my face dropped with astonishment while the blood was oozing more and more out of his paw. I was being to get a recipe for this injured husky dog. We brought him in.
With Binga sleeping with a sock on his foot we need to get help fast however a musher came in a suited it out and the sliced paw was fixed. We could see the finsh line lightning we wanted to come first but maybe not but then one of the mushers dropped out of the race in no we were first.
Finally we reached the finsh line we were first anther musher came and came seconded we had a big group hug and all the mushers crowned me idiot erode race sister became a fredly dog and Binga retired from the racing and became a loving helper.
We can’t wait to race again…
Well done Keira 2tp. You have used lots of great adjectives and similes. You are using complex sentences very well. You used your story map effectively to help you include all of the necessary structure required for an adventure story. The spelling in your story needs checking next time, although I know you had difficulties with the iPad you were using. Next time remember to check you are using the correct homonym.
Brownie’s Adventure
“Three, two, one” the starter shouted . We were off running like the wind .
The wind was blowing heavily in Alaska, we have a race coming soon “We have enough Huskies to pull the sledge” said the captain. Our captain was called Libby.
I was dashing through the snow while we were racing on the ice.
My name is Brownie I am a Huskie . I have a blue and fluffy coat to keep me nice and warm . We ended up in a forest and a wolf jumped up at us. Later on we ended in the arctic I fell in the snow and ice.
I Was ok and we went back to England . When we got back we had a drink and we celebrated.
Well done Harry 2tp. You have included some good verbs and adjectives. Next time try to include time connectives.
My great adventure
Three two one the starter shouted we were off running like the wind.We were freezing cold .I was on my way up the mountain. The journey was horrendous.My best dog was speeding away like a flash of lightning.
Me and my best team were in the lead.It was an existing journey.Me and my team were tired after a couple of hours.We stopped to have some food.we got chased by a pack of wolves.
My best dogs hurt their paws.A giant rock tripped us up and we sled down the mountain.Libby moved to Alaska because she wanted to follow her dream.
My heart was pounding as I got closer to the scary forest . As I got into the forest the dogs were barking loudly and I was getting a headache. There were dangerous conditions ahead. Suddenly a pounding Wolf came jumping in the distance. As I went nearer to it,it started attacking me and chasing me. Me a dog was attacking the wolf. It was protecting its babies. We helped the wolf.
A sign glowed in the distance. soon I discovered it was a finish line but know one was there. My heart was pounding that I was the first one there. My best dog who barked with joy . We were having a great time time in the morning. Everyone was cheering just for us in existent.
We had a fun time being cheered at. My dogs were running around the village of Nome . We were chasing each other in joy until midnight. We were sleeping in a gold house in a bright yellow bed. A noise was creeping around but it was Dugan sneaking around. In the morning we had bacon and eggs. The dogs had dog food and we went out somewhere In Alaska. We are going to do another race…
Well done Samuel 2tp. You have used lots of description. I like your phrase ‘my heart was pounding as I got closer to the scary forest’, it introduced lots of drama to your story climax. Next time use speech marks in your writing and proof read for spelling errors.
Racing on ice.
The wind was blowing heavily in a Alaska. The wind was swishing in my way. We had a hard race to win. There were 15 of us huskies and our sled. Our captain was Libby.
I was dashing though the show and I was of an my way. My name is Binga ad I am a very good friend, and I am the third leader. I run speedy and I am fluffy.
“Stop!” Libby shored to all of us. The ice was cracking.
“Come back” Libby said, “Come back!”
It was too late I had cut my paw. We had to stop for rest.
The next morning they went to race again. We ran like the wind. We go to the ice and ran on it. It started to crack. We didn’t top in time. I got a cut paw.
The other dogs took me to a shelter, and had to wait there. Once my paw was better I race again.
We won the race and got a big trophy.
Well done Kevin I like how you made your sentences dramatic. I also like the descriptions and the speech. Next time try use a simile
Well done Kevin 2tp. You have used lots of adjectives. I am pleased you have used a simile ‘we ran like the wind’. Next time try to include more character and setting descriptions.
Terror in Alaska
“Three two one !” The starter shouted and we were off running like the wind. We sped through the snow that was flying behind us Brownie was actually slowing down, all the husky’s were slowing down. Browny now had completely stopped as he sniffed the air.
Suddenly I shouted stop! as an enormous shadow was covering us,”run! “I shouted as we all ran faster than ever before.
As I looked back I saw the shadow was actually a mutated creature that was part Polar Bear half Golden Eagle but the thing that was the weirdest of all was it had the head of a Hyena.
Suddenly Brownie wriggled out of the sled harness and ran towards the creature, all the other dogs were barking madly with fright.
Browny leapt at the creature and the battle began,Brownie bit the female creature as it fell to the ground.
“Run!” I shouted to Brownie as we started to sink in the snow with the blizzard all around us.
Suddenly the female Hyena beast started to chase us again,quickly I threw sausages at it, thinking the sausages were us the beast ran after them.
The blizzard was so bad I could hardly see myself so I made a shelter and slept till early morning.
In the morning I looked out of the shelter I gasped Brownie was not there I looked everywhere and I still had 840 miles to go. I looked down and saw a trail of blood I followed it and found an injured Brownie covered in blood.
I picked up Brownie and carried him back to the shelter now I needed to get back in the race.
Carefully I put Brownie on the sled and set off,suddenly a flying leg came from nowhere it looked like Sister the other Husky had been eaten.
I saw a light up ahead I sped towards it, I saw the finish line I looked at Brownie, his eyes were closed but then he suddenly jumped off the sled and joined in the race we had won after all. Brownie had won his mate.
What adventures will we have next…….
Well done Ben 2tp. You have used lots of verb/adverb pairs and adjectives. Your creature certainly sounds terrifying -I would not like to meet it in Alaska! Next steps; remember to leave a line between paragraphs and proof read your work for spelling and punctuation mistakes.
“Three two one” the starter shouted and we were off running like the wind. one day they was a race. It was a good place for a race. It was very snowy because it was the Arctic. There was snow on the floor and every where you looked. It was like it was a snowy town. It was weird.
It was a bit scary with the snow when you’re doing a race. It was going to be a good race. I have to win this race. It was going to be fun. It is really fun. It looks exciting.
I am Brownie, a fantastic dog. I do a big race as well. I am a very good and brave dog. I’m a fast runner. I would be the best dog I would have had. I am amazing. I looks cuddly.
I skid a round the corner and fell down it. I am stuck still, I am frightened. The forest is gloomy forest. It is too scary it is dark. I am okay but it isn’t safe. I was trying to find away out. I was fine.
The forest was so horrible. It wasn’t what I was thinking. It will be exciting when I am finished. I will find a hole. Or I could find a gap. I am still stuck!
I am still stuck. I am not scared I will fight if I had to. I am in the dark stuck. Snow was dripping down. It was going to be fun if I wasn’t trapped. It is not fun right now. I am a bit sad. I find a hole I am back in the race I am safe as well.
Binga is still in the forest. He is stuck in some leaves. He tries to find a hole. I just can’t yet. Mud is dripping in his eyes. I climb up it. I can’t get up. So a person comes and picks me up. I get back in the race.
I get so close to the finish line. I get a medal at the end. It was so much fun. I am nearly at the end. It is straight forwards. I go fast to get to the end. I finish first and get a medal. It was great fun racing.
Well done Joseph. I like how you tried to excite the reader. I also like how you used funny sentences. Next step try to use speech marks and re read what you have wrote.
Well done Joseph 2tp. you have used your story mountain well to build the story to a climax, resolve the problem and lead the reader to the story end. Next steps, use connectives such as ‘and’ and ‘but’ to make compound sentences and vary your sentence starters.
Wild Wind
“Three, two, one!” The starter shouter and we were of running like the wind! The race started at 9:30 am. One of the mushers was called Libby she had 50 dogs. I was one of them. I am called Dugan. My owner is 20 years old,she is one of the yougest racer there.
She used to live in London on the high Street, she was sick and tired of living there so she moved. I was the leader from the pack of huskies.
All of a sudden mushers came storming past me. The trees were covered in snow you could barely see the Orange leaves. I was running a1000 mile race that would take 4 weeks to do. When the mushers came rushing past me they made all of the snow fall of the trees. The surrounding Mountains were as big as skyscrapers. A couple of people were flying the dog food and people’s food over by plane.
Dugan is a husky, he is white and fluffy and had had bits of grey on him. He was five years old.
My heart was pounding, I didn’t know what was to come! My fur was blowing up. What challenges was I going to face? There were Rocky Mountains ahead of me. I could see a dark forest, it was as black as the night sky.
I could hear my leader Libby calling stop, but I didn’t. All of the other huskies were trying to slow down however,I was dragging them across the cracking white snow.
I was so frightened I could see the forest walking towards me. I was getting more and more scared. All of a sudden it started to snow. I felt cold, wet and scared, we still had 937miles to go! Was I going to make it?
“Stop” Libby shouted loudly to all of us. Libby jumped off the sledge and started walking slowly towards the dark, gloomy forest, but all of a sudden a moose got in our way and Libby ran back to the sledge. When the moose had walked away we set off again and soon became dark, but we had to find the next cabin.
We slept in the nice warm cabin next to the cracking fire. BANG went the fire. When we got up the fire was out and I told the others that I had slept well. Then Libby got on her boots and coat and off we went. It had snowed overnight.
The snow was thick and it was hard to run in, so we tried as hard as we could. Soon we got out of the thick snow. I was anxious about what was going to happen today. At 9:30 it began to snow again, we didn’t know where we were going, so we decided to stop. Once it stopped snowing we set off again. after a while we came to a river that had frozen over.
A wolf was guarding the river, and we couldn’t get across. I growled at the wolf and it ran off. We still couldn’t get across so people came and helped us. They pushed the sledge, and me and the other dogs pulled. It took an hour and a half to get across, but we made it.
After we got across we went storming loudly howling across the White fluffy snow and we eventually got to the finish line!
I felt overjoyed, we had finally finished the race. “Hurray” shouted the crowd. They were amazed at what me, Libby and the other dogs had done. Libby was awarded with lots of prizes. We had parties! She was the best musher ever!
Libby and the other dogs, including me, became famous!! Will we do another sledge race…
wow! Well done Zara 2tp You have included similes, personification and onomatopoeia! Next time make sure you use capital letters appropriately in your text.
The race of Alaska
“Three, two,one!” The starter shouted and we were off running like the wind! The race was in Alaska.It was in 1902 and I was the leader of the pack. I wanted to be the first to win the sled race.
We came to a halt, a moose was in the middle of the track Socks warned the rest. Socks, Brownie and I the rest stop!
We went around the moose and the next thing you know there was a small blizzard but we still came out. It was only a small blizzard. We went some more miles and a big blizzard came .
What were we going to do?
The blizzard was upon us!
We went into the blizzard it was the biggest blizzard I have ever seen. It went on and on it felt like it would never stop.
It kept on going, it took an hour, Socks got cold. The snow got thicker than ever, the blizzard came down but we got out.
We kept going and we were shifting the cold snow that got on our backs and I shook it off but it kept on falling off the trees. I could imagine it now, the first dog with a women as a leader to win.
Suddenly I heard my leader shout “I see the finish line in the distance” me and the others started to bark. I was zooming like a rocket going to space we crossed the finish line. We had come first place!
Well done Oakley I like how you used questions and feelings throughout the story. Next time try use metaphors and personification.
Well done Oakley. 2tp You have used some great time connectives. Next time try to use commas in your writing
The Iditarod race
“Three two one !” the starter shouted and we were off,running like the wind! Libby and Binga used to live in America and now somewhere in Alaska. They were going like the wind.
Libby had lots of Huskies . She entered a race with her Huskies. The race looked scary. She named her leader Husky Binga .
As fast as lightning we were trying to not let anyone past me! My Huskies were just growling at other people’s dogs it was like they were warning them. It was because they were going to crash into a tree! The starter was on a plane watching everyone he said “you’re out !”to the people who crashed into the tree.
Fortunately I didn’t go out of the race but I was so tired. It’s because it is a 200mile race and it would take over 4 weeks.
We were going to a gloomy spooky forest…I felt like we were going to crash into a tree. We were dodging the trees, we were going so fast that i could see the wind zooming past us.It was the spookiest place ever .
The race had only just began; I had only done 1 mile.I was exhausted, my paws were frozen . We were going too fast I could not catch up.
“I slipped over a rock!”howling softly. Libby came rushing to the front of the sledge. She tried to shout loudly but no one came. So she carried Binga to the front of the sledge. She said “come on “to the other huskies but they didn’t budge.They didn’t because I was the leader and they didn’t know where they were going…
Libby just noticed I had broken my leg ! “I wonder if there are any vets around here ?” asked Libby. She got out the sledge and off she went to look for vets.In the distance,i could see another musher. I howled as big as ever. Libby rushed over. She could see the musher.
The musher came this way. Libby asked “do you know where any vets are?” The musher stopped silently “I know where some vets are its just up ahead “. Libby started pulling the sledge. I was so hurt that I couldn’t even move. I went to the vets. The huskies left me and they carried on racing.
Binga,was watching the race on Tv. Soon he got better he went back to his cabin. The doctors took him. He was still watching Tv. Binga wanted to race but he couldn’t.
On Tv Libby and the huskies won! Binga howled! Someone took him back to the race. Binga was so excited to see Libby, they got to the race. They saw the trophy, it was the shiniest thing ever. Libby made a speech on TV. When they got back to the cabin they had some nice hot chocolate.
Bing had two babies with Socks, they were called Jack and Lexi, they were boy and girl. The girl was Lexi and the boy was Jack.
Well done Ashley 2TP. You have used lots of adjectives to describe the forest and build tension. Try to use a variety of sentence openers in your writing, not just ‘I’.
Libby and the race
Three two one the starter shouted and we were off running like the wind! I was racing with Brownie Binga and Duncan it was snowing heavily and I was wearing gloves a scarf and a hat with fluff and so it can keep me warm because I’m in the Arctic circle.
We were half way through the race and there was a path that was slippery and had lots of piles of snow which was blocking my way so I got out and used my hands to get the snow out of my way after I got back on the sledge I said the only reason why I wanted to do the race was because I wanted to spend some time with my dogs.
Then there was more snow and ice and my dogs went straight through the snow and ice then snow
came in front of me in the sledge and it made me really cold and my dogs were barking because there was a cave full of ice that were loose. So we ran straight And the ice fell onto the floor we took cover.
We took cover under a rock. We were sneaking out then my dogs barked really loud because they were scared. The big ice cubes fell and we were trapped in the cave so I picked up a piece of ice and made a shelter where my dogs and I can stay through the night.
in the morning I moved the ice so I could get out. Then someone was mining the ice and it was a musher that was coming to save me and my dogs. Then I went out and my dogs were following behind me but then suddenly Binga got her tail stuck in the ice.
The musher helped to get Binga’s tail out of the ice Binga’s tail was bent and had bright red blood I felt terrible when I saw Binga like this so all the other dogs went to the sledge and the musher put the rope over them.I told Binga to go onto the sledge because she hurt her tail really badly so I put a dog bed onto the sledge so Binga could get some rest when we take her to the vet.
I took Binga to the vet and they said that she needs to go home and not finish the race and so I took her home and the musher got a blanket and put it on the wood and put the dog bed into it and Binga went to sleep.
I got back to the race and thought that I’m not going to make it to the end of the race so I asked the musher if he would like to come because he has only one dog who can pull the sledge and he said yes.
I heard a shivering bushes and I saw a animal head popping and I didn’t notice that my dogs were running really fast until I turned around and there was a cliff then my dogs jumped and made it to the other side.
The musher and I were heading off and we were going round the corner and there was a cottage that had a person in there and there was a sign that said Lindsey’s house don’t enter I knocked on the door and the women said come in?
I said my names Libby and the musher said my name is Ralph come in said the women we went in and told her the story And she said that’s a lot what you’ve went through are you thirsty?
After we went on the sledge and went back on the race tracks and went to the finish line and we won first place. The musher got one trophy and I got one trophy aswell.
Since I got first place we had a party at my house to celebrate I got first place we had sweets and strawberries and there was music after and I had sandwiches. I was getting tired so I packed away.
Well done Morgan You have tried organised your work into paragraphs and tried to include lots of speech in your writing. You need to use appropriate punctuation throughout your writing.
The story of libby and Brownie
“Three two one”,the starter shouted and we were off running like the wind,Libby liked to race. Libby used to live in Brazil but then she moved to Alaska to follow her dream which was husky sledding so she got some husky they were called Brownie and socks . They were very good huskies.
It was snowing like mad.It kept snowing harder and harder. I was freezing cold . All my huskies were very hungry from all that racing.
I am worried what is ahead of me. I need to concentrate and look for marks . Racing through the Arctic is dangers and cold.libby gave us an instructions to follow .So we went right.
I saw a forest with really tall trees 10.cm . The snow was as thick as a tree branch. Suddenly I tripped over a rock.
“Oh No I hurt my leg”. Libby was worried that I couldn’t race anymore. But then another musher came and helped us.He was very nice to us . But said he would stay behind and not finish the race.
Brownie went with another person. The musher was happy to take Brownie to a village near by.
I could see a bit of the finish line. But another was on our tail.
We won the race. We got a silver medal from the mayor and I still got more .
Will we race again…
The storm race
“Three two, one ,the stater shouted and we were of running like the wind ! The musher is called Libby and Brownie and she is racing in Alaska she is racing with here dogs . Brownie and Libby live in Alaska. She has 15 dogs and she was hoping to come first.without being to tired and exhausted.
Suddenly one of Libby’s dogs foot was hurting but she went and kept on racing . She was doing it to win. The race began at 9.30 and when people were racing fast it was making the snow and leafs fall of with there speed. They were going so fast they nearly made me fall out the sledge.Brownie was happy when he was in the race because he was winning for Libby.
I was scared because of what challenges I was going to face the gloomy forest the trees dancing widely in the wind the air blowing around the dogs. I was facing a lot of facing a lot of challenges and it was terrifying in the forest. It was frightening when the ice cracked ! It was cold and exhausting,I did not know if I would make it to the end. It was slippy.
I was scared I would not make it.It was scary because people were coming behind. It was freezing.
Libby was first! When she was racing she saw a big dark cloud. Libby shouted” stop!” But one of the dogs did not stop in time and stepped on some icicles and he had a lot of blood. The dog was taken out of the race, luckily there was a vet near by and the vet solved the problem .
The Brownie the dog was very poorly but soon he was better, but he was very nice. When he was better he was back in the race. When they were running they were calm and bouncing and when they were sprinting they were good company.
Libby was still first and won the race and won a trophy. Her dogs were very tired. Even though one dog had been taken out of the race she had still won. Libby was very excited and so were her dogs because of what they had done to make her come first.
Dugan had little puppies and he was very excited and gave them little cuddles and he became happy and friendly. Libby had the victory…
Well done Lewis 2TP. You have included lots of emotion in your writing. Proof read your writing more closely in future to avoid spelling and punctuation mistakes.
The Lightning race
Three two one! we were off running like the wind! I am Brownie, I was scared about the race. However I wanted to help my owner Libby. She has aways looking out for me. I love Libby.
On the day of the race my heart was beating face. I did not feel well because of the day ahead of me.
When I got there the bright sky told me that winning was be at in my sights
I was tired because I was up at twelve o’ clock at night. I thought to myself this is going to be a long day I said to myself I am never going to make it!
I was shivering,I could not move because it was so,so cold. The wind was dancing in my face, it was hard to see .what was I going to do?
Finally I got to the checkpoint. I was so relieved. My owner gave me dog biscuits. The next day came and the second I got out I froze! We started running, but the wind was howling and the ice was cracking fast. I did not want to run on it . What is going to happen next?
“I want to do it ” hour past we tried really tried! with the wind blowing in my face. I could not see however seconds later I saw worm cabin suddenly my hart started beating fast I was going to made it for night Libby light a fire then I fall softly in a deep sleep.
Next morning Libby gave us dog biscuit and nice warm hugs. Then we went out side suddenly sister started limping and limping I know something was wrong with her suddenly she fell quick like lightning.
Libby brought sister to the dull vets
Me and the rest of the dogs were heart broken and our heart are fading away, however what had to be done had done had to be done. We started running but this time we but mite into the race.
Two hour latter it was getting dark and we tired it felt that someone was hitting me, then I looked up and I saw the beautiful sight of the finish line suddenly my frown turned upside down I was so happy. In no time I was there. We won, “this is the best day of my life!”
Well done Sasha You have included lots of emotion in your story. Try to organise your sentences into paragraphs throughout your writing.
The dangerous run
“Three two one” the starter shouted and we were off, running like the wind! The main character is Brownie and all the other dogs.Their owner is called Libby.She lives in Alaska.The dogs are very soft .Brownie is brown and very fluffy.
The snow was waving and deep.When the dogs did the storm run It was frosty.The run is very dangerous because you fall in the ice. The dogs have sharp teeth.They ran out breath when they did the storm run.Brownie got chased by a fires wolf. When I did the race I was scared.I was also scared because I was walking through a gloomy dark forest. Libby saw the trees dancing in the moon light.I could smell fear and danger.It was freezing cold.
Libby’s dogs were sniffing the fresh air.Brownie was upset because there wasn’t any mud.The path was very frosty.The forest was full of danger.
I was exhausted.Could I really make it to end? Libby was because she saw
That the ice was so sharp, if you walk on it you won’t feel anything because it is so cold.
Brownie and the other dogs feet were freezing so they kept having a rest. Libby got a frost bit. The dogs were scared of the hard white gloomy snow blowing on them.
A frosty storm came at my dogs and they were scared. The storm started to fade away and Libby thought she would never make it. The dog had fallen in the ice but they got back out again.
Hurray! Libby won the race.She came first in the race.Libby,s dogs were tied because they had to run a very long way. Brownie was glad because it was finally over. Sweat was dripping down Brownie’s forehead.
Libby was so proud that she won the race “I can’t believe it” Libby said. Libby was really glad because Dugan and his wife had puppies. One puppy was called noodles. Dugan and his wife gave birth. Today Libby and her dogs had a lovely day…
Well done Millie 2TP. You have introduced lots of drama to your story. Try to use more connectives in your writing. This will make your sentences flow better.